” If you’re a woman and a guy’s ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it. “


” Life isn’t something you possess. It’s something you take part in, and you witness. “


” Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it’s really like magic because you transform reality for people. “


” I wish I could know everything ever, like that would be my wish – that’s what I hope heaven is, that they tell you who shot JFK and all that stuff. “


” The only pitch I have to movie people is the same as this one: Just give me $8 million. I’m not telling you what it’s about and I’m not telling you who’s in it. “


” You can’t cancel my stand-up tours. It’s impossible. There’s too many separate bosses. There is no ‘bosses. “


” I don’t know what it’s like to be an actor, where if your show gets canceled, really you’re just a bum. “


” There’s a woman I see who’s not my therapist, but she’s like an old friend who’s a therapist in profession. She lets me talk to her like a therapist once in a while, and she does a great thing. Whenever I have a big dilemma, like this is a big problem in my life, she always says, ‘Wow, you’re going to have to figure that out. “


” I like pressure. Pressure doesn’t make me crack. It’s enabling. I eat pressure, and there might be times when I get a bad feeling in my gut that this might be too much, but you feel pressure when you’re not doing something, you know? “


” When you’re young as a comic, you don’t have a lot of leverage. “


” Whenever I’ve encountered a Christian saying, ‘Why don’t you stop talking like that so I can hear you?’ I think, ‘Well you’re the one putting the earmuffs on, but I wish you could hear me because I like you. “



All 11 Louis C. K. Quotes about You in picture


If you
Life isn
Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it
I wish I could know everything ever, like that would be my wish - that
The only pitch I have to movie people is the same as this one: Just give me $8 million. I
You can
I don
There
I like pressure. Pressure doesn
When you
Whenever I

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