” Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It’s either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it’s Colin. “


” With silly stuff, it’s seventy-five percent confidence. I always tell people that it’s because I’m nervous about getting that next laugh and I need to hear it. I always want to condense a joke. “


” I sit in places like Costa Coffee in Banstead and write rubbish. I need a deadline. I think about the 44 tour dates and keep imagining standing in front of all these people. Then every day I write 15 jokes minimum. “


” I’m not someone who gets to play The O2 and places like that, but that’s the kind of rock and roll venue. The popularity of stand-up means that some people are getting to play rock star venues. “



All 4 Tim Vine Quotes about People in picture


Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It
With silly stuff, it


I sit in places like Costa Coffee in Banstead and write rubbish. I need a deadline. I think about the 44 tour dates and keep imagining standing in front of all these people. Then every day I write 15 jokes minimum.
I
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