” My painting teacher in high school used to say, ‘I can’t paint like I want to, but through practice I’ll get better.’ But I don’t think that’s true. I think sometimes you just can’t paint. “


” It’s interesting because with a lot of people who I’ve met in comedy, it seems not to matter what your background is. In terms of formal schooling – I feel like that’s a nineteenth century term – but in terms of where you went to high school or college, or wherever, all that really is irrelevant, I have found, in comedy. “


” If you’re going to plan a wedding, then a certain amount of suffering is not a choice. “


” Most New Yorkers want to look amazing, and they want you to understand that they look amazing, but they also want you to stop staring at them. “


” When you start feeling the baby kick, you realize there’s a person inside, and that pregnancy is very different from having a person you’re responsible for for the rest of your life. I don’t know what I’m doing, but then I have to remind myself no parent does, right? “


” Yes, some women are funny. No, some women aren’t funny. It’s similar to how some women are tall and, you know, some women are short. “


” A man’s face is not a rich person’s lawn, you are wasting resources if you devote that much energy to trimming your beard, sideburns, or mustache just so. Nor is a man’s face the woods, there need not be the tangled weeds, shrubbery, and wildlife/eggs benedict that get ensnared in them. “


” I think New Yorkers are some of the friendliest people in the world, but it just comes out in a different way. In a way where they’re swearing at you. “



All 8 Ellie Kemper Quotes about You in picture


My painting teacher in high school used to say,
It


If you
Most New Yorkers want to look amazing, and they want you to understand that they look amazing, but they also want you to stop staring at them.
When you start feeling the baby kick, you realize there
Yes, some women are funny. No, some women aren
A man
I think New Yorkers are some of the friendliest people in the world, but it just comes out in a different way. In a way where they
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