Famous quotes by Famous people

” You can’t worry too much about what you think the audience wants to hear. You just have to hope that you’re a likeable enough person that what you’re saying will relate to other people, so they can laugh at it as well. “

” When I was 23, I didn’t have much of an interest in politics. All of my interests were in partying and meeting girls and doing stand-up. That’s all I cared about. Now, when you have a kid and stuff, you start watching the news and say, ‘They shouldn’t take money away from this education department.’ You start having much more exact opinions. “

” I don’t believe in gun bans, that’s a fallacy that people have, that they think if you believe in gun control you want to ban guns. That’s not true. “

” One of the flaws in the American dream is that there isn’t as much of a safety net as you may get in other countries. “

” My girlfriend buys stuff from Trader Joe’s, and it’s just subpar. When you buy a burrito, it crumbles the way a proper burrito shouldn’t. Everything’s just crap there. “

” There’s a theory with comedy that you shouldn’t do anything that’s too topical in your specials because people won’t be able to watch them in five years. But I look at Trump in the same way I look at Mr. T. I can watch comedy jokes about Mr. T in the ’80s and still understand what they’re talking about. “

” In my own life, hate has consumed me at times. Or envy. When my TV show was canceled, I didn’t think it deserved to be canceled because people liked it. It was canceled for the wrong reasons, you know? I was consumed with hate for about a year. “

” If I didn’t have a gig, I used to ring up all the comedy clubs across the country and go, ‘If anyone drops out, I can be there.’ Normally, someone would ring you up the day of. It’s just perseverance, being scrappy, being a hustler. The first few years, a lot of it was under-the-table work, so that was good. I think I can say that now. “

” You’ve got to gamble on yourself. If you don’t, no one else is going to. It’s very hard when you’re poor to turn down money. When you’ve got money, it’s easy. When you’re poor, you need money today. People take advantage of poor people. “